So I'm at a point now, with working out, where I'm in between belt buckle holes. This is not quite the euphemism that it sounds like. Literally, I have to adjust belt buckle holes from when I sit (one from the last one) to when I stand (the last one). Otherwise, the pants slowly fall down. I know what you're thinking, ladies! What's the problem?! Well, apparently my wearing of pants is important to most parts of society. Like people who want to keep their lunch down. One should also note: it's tricky thing to have to adjust your belt because it always just looks like you've done something inappropriate.
Well, usually I adjust the belt before I get up, but yesterday I forgot. So I was walking through the library, having just come from class (and having just been sitting down). So, I waited until I was between bookshelves somewhere near the very back of the library to make the belt adjustment. Well, it just so happened that someone walked by at precisely the wrong time, and looked at me when I looked up. All I could say was, "Uhhhh, it's not what you think..." To which the guy responded, "Yeah, sure," and kept walking.
So I've decided if someone is just going to assume I've done something wrong when I adjust my belt, instead of apologizing, I'll say something witty like, "Did you enjoy the show, perv?" Loudly. Especially if we're in class. Or the library.
That should go over well.
Well, usually I adjust the belt before I get up, but yesterday I forgot. So I was walking through the library, having just come from class (and having just been sitting down). So, I waited until I was between bookshelves somewhere near the very back of the library to make the belt adjustment. Well, it just so happened that someone walked by at precisely the wrong time, and looked at me when I looked up. All I could say was, "Uhhhh, it's not what you think..." To which the guy responded, "Yeah, sure," and kept walking.
So I've decided if someone is just going to assume I've done something wrong when I adjust my belt, instead of apologizing, I'll say something witty like, "Did you enjoy the show, perv?" Loudly. Especially if we're in class. Or the library.
That should go over well.
8 comments:
"For our customers who find pants too restrictive, we have these delightful mumus."
-- The Simpsons (episode where Homer attempts to go on disability by claiming obesity)
I loved that episode! The ending was perfect for it. There's a nice reference to the Darkman movie with Liam Neason (see the rooster pendulum).
Oh, yeah. I went through the McDonald's at the Chicago Skyway late last Thursday night and it took all of my strength to not ask for an Egg McMuffin.
That story still gets me laughing. Keep 'em coming CUL!
The law library always gets me hot, so I don't know what is so abnormal about that.
"The law library always gets me hot, so I don't know what is so abnormal about that."
Wow. I'm speechless.
MPS/CUL, are we having a bye week this week on the picks?
I guess MPS gets a goose egg for the week and everyone else gets 56 :) !
Glad I didn't fail you, Geaux Irish.
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