Misadventures, Part V

So my buddy Ari enjoys flicking his friends off (One should note – this was the least dirty way I could open this story in talking about giving someone the finger. Seriously. Why does everything I write these days sound like a euphemism?). Anyway, it’s usually from a distance and often in public settings. Frequently, although by no means necessarily, Ari’s middle finger is provoked by a mild dig at him. For instance, telling Ari that a tv show he likes, in fact, is terrible, will draw a middle finger. Commenting on “his suck decision for a lunch order” will almost always result in the bird as well. Sometimes, however, spotting him from a distance on the sidewalk will result in the middle finger as well. This all got me into trouble yesterday at the gym.

So Ari, Mike, and I are in the weight room. Yes, I know where it is, thank you very much. Ari’s using some machine before me, and he decides to do another set although I am nearly ready to use the same machine. Since I know a comment about this will draw a middle finger, I decide to preempt Ari by looking down the row of machines at him and giving him the middle finger. Bam! I am clever. Or so I thought.

Directly next to Ari is a girl who has been minding her own business, using the next machine over. Turns out, when I am giving Ari the middle finger, which had to stay up for 5-7 seconds (basically about 4-6 seconds longer than one wants to leave the finger up in a public place) because Ari had looked away, the girl on the next machine had looked over to me. Yep. I flicked off some random girl in the weight room. I rule.

As a bit of a strange aside, she only furrowed her brow slightly when I flicked her off. The lack of outrage says to me she probably did something that deserved it. I’m just saying is all.