Questionable Commentary

The A-Holes in IT Relent for Two Freaking Seconds

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 19:57:00 +0000

Our tech monkeys apparently hit the wrong button this morning, and "de-restricted" all blogspot websites. Not a good move considering the generally quality of blogs (including this one).

But I digress....as Vegas fades into the shroud of memory, I thought I would hit the remaining highlights of the trip, bullet-point-story-style (feel free to add more in the comments):

Within two hours of arriving at Treasure Island, Spurt has been banned from drinking. Our pit boss, Trudy, was a complete moron anyway (one of her comments upon finding out that many of us were lawyers or in law school..."It normally takes a couple of times to pass the bar." Yeah, if you're fucking stupid). Spurt dropped a few f-bombs, and that was the end of his alcohol experience. Too bad he was only drinking Coronas at the time (he may be the first person ever cut off while drinking girlie beer).

10 dudes in a Grand Caravan on the way to Luxor for steak dinner on Friday night. The minivan was destroyed. Between AJ having to crouch in between the two captain's chairs and Peak literally riding in the trunk well, I was praying that we would not be pulled over. I worried about getting past security (who normally looks in your trunk), but Spurt used his expert Vegas knowledge to assure us that the Luxor did not have security. Unlike the "take Frank Sinatra Drive, it's faster" incident, this one actually worked.

The return trip to Denny's and the hostess' comment that "we don't have any seats available right now" despite the fact that HALF of the restaurant was empty. T disappearing for ten minutes and coming back with a comp for his dinner.

The hotness of the waitress at the Venetian (Ari knows), which cannot be overstated. The hobbit-like quality to the waitresses of TI. Watching ND come all the way back from 20 down only to choke. The lack of Caribbean Stud in any casino. The "fun" of "Super Fun 21" at the Fiesta. Triple shot Everclear martinis sounding like a good idea. The Luxor steakhouse: great food, awful service. Forgetting that DJ is actually deaf in one ear and just thinking he was ignoring me. Looking forward to next year.

One step ahead...

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:18:00 +0000

of big brother... maybe...

Anyway, we've moved.

http://questionablecommentary.squarespace.com/

Come on by.

NFL FOOTBALL POOL, WEEK 11

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 15:17:00 +0000

All games for Week Eleven of the 2006 NFL Season are listed at the bottom. The home team is spelled out in CAPS. Please pick five games and assign point totals by writing the name of the team you pick in the blanks below. Also pick the Monday night game if you have not done so.

Favorite Spread Underdog
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 10 Oakland Raiders
Indianapolis Colts 1 DALLAS COWBOYS
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 3.5 Cincinnati Bengals
Pittsburgh Steelers 3.5 CLEVELAND BROWNS
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 13 Tennessee Titans
Baltimore Ravens 4 Atlanta Falcons
CAROLINA PANTHERS 6.5 St. Louis Rams
HOUSTON TEXANS 2.5 Buffalo Bills
New England Patriots 6 Green Bay Packers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3 Washington Redskins
Chicago Bears 7 New York Jets
MIAMI DOLPHINS 3.5 Minnesota Vikings
ARIZONA CARDINALS 2 Detroit Lions
Seattle Seahawks 6 San Francisco 49ers
DENVER BRONCOS 2.5 San Diego Chargers

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 3.5 New York Giants

The Old Hot Stove

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 13:31:00 +0000

Jim Leyland and Joe Girardi took home manager of the year honors yesterday. Leyland's win was somewhat less of a surprise than Girardi's. To be fair, though, Girardi finishing at the top of the voting wasn't all that surprising either. The reason I bring it up is because it gives me a chance to rail on the Marlin's evil owner Wayne Huizenga... er... John Henry... er... Jeffery Loria. Right, Jeffery Loria. Hey, Jeff! Great call firing your manager because you're a control freak. I'm sure it won't be hard to start with a $15 million opening day payroll and be so competitive, that you almost make the playoffs next year. Don't worry... at least this year's opening day roster will have more than one batter with over 1000 ABs in the bigs. Maybe.

Boston is thinking about shooting a cool 50 mil over to J.D. Drew. Hey, what's another $50 million? Especially for a player who plays hard and everyone loves. With Manny in left, and Drew in right, are the Red Sox putting together the laziest outfield of all time? Is Bobby Bonilla available to play center? A Boston side note -- I'd like to be there when they tell John Henry that they bid 50 million dollars, not yen, on Megalon. That meeting would be good times.

No major signing activity thus far. Mike Mussina reupped for 2 years, at about 22-24 million. Fair enough. And I hate that I'm saying fair enough. That's an f-load of cash for being a "solid number 2." Heh. Sorry, this entire paragraph was a setup to allow me to use the phrase "solid number 2." Okay, I'll go back to the news now.

GMs are considering instant replay for baseball. You know, this is my favorite game, and I love how there's no clock. But come on people, do we really need to extend the game in an area where for 100 years we've been fine with the occasional missed call? Look at college football this season. Sometimes instant replay can do more harm than good. Although if baseball adopts instant replay and the Oklahoma Sooners somehow get screwed again, I'm all for it.

And finally... you've got to love Philadelphia. Pat Gillick comes in as the new GM last season, and by the trade deadline is trying to convince optimistic fans that the Phillies will not contend in 2007. Nothing like an organization that doesn't even believe in itself.

42 Million, and All I Got Was This Lousy Import

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 03:10:00 +0000

So... 42 million (allegedly!) for the right to sign a Japanese ace. But wait! If you you act now, we'll also throw in East Asian market awareness and a new car. But not really on the new car. Is it really financially sound for the Red Sox to be throwing this kind of cash around? Probably. Isn't that a bit sad? I want to say "who cares" because a) it's cooler to seem apathetic, and b) I really don't have any love lost for the Bosox... but I do care. It's just one more thing the real Evil Empire, Kevin McClatchy, Inc. has never heard of. What's "it"? Oh, that's right... putting together a competitive baseball team. (yes, you read that link correctly... that's a 2004 article.)

But you don't come to the site to read more rants about the Pirates, you want uplifting news. Something not so 'Burgh-centric? Sure thing. Did you realize ND was on tv for 169 straight games before USAFA's CSTV contract put an end to it? Kudos to the headline writer on that one, too. At first I was confused. I thought, no way ND has lost 169 games. Ty Willingham was only there for three seasons. Hard to forget when the Talking V*gina (yes, a blog I read only refers to May as this because of his distinctive(ly bad?) facial hair) reminds viewers every Saturday. Speaking of Mark May, we have scientific proof that he is disliked. Universally. Too bad Harold Reynolds decided to harass someone first (allegedly!). I'm not saying that Mark May should be fired, or even that I'm rooting for that. I'm just saying that it's more likely he'll be fired before May features Notre Dame in any of his polls, lists, or otherwise. Unless, of course, that poll is titled, "Teams I Unjustifiably Hate". I'd expect Notre Dame to finish near the top of that one. But not at the top. Because ND cannot be #1 for anything for May.

Don't worry Mark, I'm sure if ESPN ever lets you leave Bristol, you'll get the Corso Treatment in South Bend.

Is This Seriously Going to Happen?

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 15:27:00 +0000

Well, that was a pretty wild weekend of college football. It started, as it often does with me, while I was at a poker game. I'm over at my buddy Sean's house playing a little hold 'em and eight-or-better Omaha (dealer ante, of course), and the Louisville-Rutgers game comes on. Due to my wife being from Louisville, I feel compelled to sit through the horror that is this game. When Louisville is up 25-7, I am feeling pretty good about UofL's championship chances. I figure, at this point, that ND is totally out of the running, so I should root for UofL.

But not so fast, my friend, says Corso. Louisville loses to Rutgers, followed by losses by Texas, Auburn and Cal. Tennessee also lost, which is not necessarily relevant for ND's title hopes, but makes me all warm and fuzzy inside nonetheless. So now ND is ranked #5 in the BCS, with a legitimate shot at the BCS national championship game if they beat USC and Florida manages to lose.

Here is my dilemma. A month ago I bought ticket futures for ND in the Sugar Bowl. If you haven't seen how this works yet, you should definitely check it out. You pay a certain amount of money per ticket, and then if your team makes that particular bowl game, you buy tickets to that game at face value. Before Saturday, all looked to be in line for an ND Sugar Bowl appearance. I don't know if I plan to go to the game or sell the tickets, but the point is that I would have the tickets. Now, if ND goes to the NC game, I am more than happy to forfeit that money. However, if ND goes to the Rose Bowl because tOSU and UM get a rematch, I am going to be pissed.

On to the game recap.....

ND-Air Force, 39-17

Five Things I Liked:

1. Brady Quinn's rocket arm.

2. The sight of the Shark running free in the secondary.

3. Charlie's playcalling on the first two series.

4. Charlie not running up the score just to impress voters.

5. Four touchdown passes to four different receivers.

Honorable mention: Rhema's move after he caught his TD pass. Showed strength and agility. We'll need both against USC.

Five Things I Didn't Like

1. STOP THE RUN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

2. Continued inability to wrap up by Zibby.

3. Is it that difficult to recruit a kicker? It seems like there are probably lots of kids who would like to come to ND and could kick a fucking extra point. Really. It doesn't seem that hard.

4. Dropped passes. Yes, I am looking at you Darius Walker.

5. Life after Quinn looks bleak right now.

This was again one of those weeks where I was very happy to win, but playing a service academy always is a little depressing because it feels like beating up on someone who is not quite capable of responding in kind. 9-1, though, is very nice.

NFL Week 10 Reaction

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 13:31:00 +0000

Well... that was interesting. It's nice to see the Steelers trying to ruin any chance of getting a good draft pick. Prediction -- they finish 9-7 and miss the playoffs by a game. Since I've predicted it, though, it is sure not to happen. Tune in next week when I predict records of 3-13, 4-12, 5-11, 6-10, 7-9, and 8-8 for the Steelers, too.

It would appear not all is well in Steeler-land (aside from being 3-6), as the defensive line still cannot get any real push on the QB. I'm not convinced Casey "Hungry-Hungry Hippos" Hampton is healthy.

On to the rest of the league...

If we call it the Good Ship Lovie, can we call it the Sinking Ship Marvin? If you're a "defensive mastermind" and your team scores 41 points, shouldn't you win every game? Something to ponder, I guess.

Arizona lost again, and I, for one, am excited that with Denny Green's impending firing. We get to hear Denny Green's name come up for every head coach opening for the next three to four years -- with him never actually being hired, of course. Sometimes coaches fail because their teams are bad. Sometimes they fail because they're bad coaches. Sometimes, it's both. And sometimes, you're name is Rich Kotite. I'm not saying that Denny Green is Rich Kotite... but geez man, 1-8? Are you serious? And enough about how you could be 6-3. Guess what? You could be 9-0. But you're not. Stop crying and start working on your resume. (Some advice though, don't list your all-time NFL record.)

Houston, congratulations. I'm sure your quest to finish .500 will fail. But it's fun to watch you try. Somewhat sadly for the Texans, and happily for Houston, the Dynamo (great name by the way -- not) won the MLS Cup yesterday. I know many readers (all five of you) will greet MLS talk with some derision, but I mention it for two reasons -- 1. It was a ridiculously entertaining game if you turned it on halfway into the first overtime. 2. It's that much more embarrassing to Houston that one of its expansion teams won so quickly, and the Texans are still terrible. Kicking a man while he's down you say, in making fun of the Texans? I care.

It's been since Buddy Ryan was coaching that NFL audiences have seen this frosty a handshake. I couldn't quite make out Bill's words... but I think it started with "F*ck" and ended with "your mother."

And finally, from the files of Brett-Favre-Plays-Just-Well-Enough-This-Year-To-Consider-Coming-Back-Next-Year, the Pack won yesterday. Have we ever seen a guy raise a franchise up (won the SB) and kill it (not allowing anyone else to develop, steals away good draft picks by winning a few games a year) like Brett? I doubt it.

NFL Week 10

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 15:13:00 +0000

While ND prepares for Air Force (can we please learn how to defend someone in the first half?!?), the NFL rolls on. Now that my beloved Steelers are all-but-mathematically eliminated from a meaningful game in January, there is no joy in Rockville.

He's supposed to beat the Bears
this weekend. Umm, sure.

On the upside, I am going to Vegas in March, so this blog will likely look more like a police blotter at that time.

Anyway - on to the games for this week. As always, send your five picks to questionablecommentary@yahoo.com. This means you, SpragueND.

Favorite Spread Underdog

Kansas City Chiefs 1 MIAMI DOLPHINS

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS 10.5 Houston Texans

San Diego Chargers 1.5 CINCINNATI BENGALS

ATLANTA FALCONS 8 Cleveland Browns

Baltimore Ravens 7 TENNESSEE TITANS

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 11.5 Buffalo Bills

PITTSBURGH STEELERS 4 New Orleans Saints

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 7 Washington Redskins

NEW YORK GIANTS 1 Chicago Bears

MINNESOTA VIKINGS 5 Green Bay Packers

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 10.5 New York Jets

DETROIT LIONS 6 San Francisco 49ers

Denver Broncos 9 OAKLAND RAIDERS

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 3.5 St. Louis Rams

Dallas Cowboys 7 ARIZONA CARDINALS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

CAROLINA PANTHERS 9.5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Working Too Much

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 21:05:00 +0000

The disaster of the last UNC-ND meeting

and posting too little. QC will try to do better in the future. Anyway, below is a rundown of last week's game against North Carolina plus the updated scores for the NFL pool.

ND 45 - UNC 26

Five Things I Liked

1. Brady Quinn is the man. A good number of the throws he made on Saturday were NFL-caliber (looking off coverage, going all the way through the progression, superior arm strength, etc.)

2. Zibby finally holding onto a punt return. That was nice to see.

3. Scoring seemingly at will in the second half.

4. Shark and Rhema having huge days together. Grimes emerging as a true third threat.

5. The hoodie.

Five Things I Didn't Like

1. The gaping holes in the secondary.

2. Our seemingly endless inability to tackle an opposing player in the open field.

3. Allowing a return touchdown.

4. Allowing Joe Dailey to look like Joe Montana.

5. That games like this somehow damage Brady's Heisman chances. It infuriates me that a QB at tOSU (who, btw, admitted taking cash from a booster a/k/a cheating) can throw for 100 yards and an interception and not be penalized for playing crappy competition.

Scores from this week (a/k/a my eyes are bleeding):

Geaux Irish: 46 points (nice work)
Clown Hater: 11 points
Festering in Dallas: 1 point
SpragueND: 1 point
QC: 0
CU Lions: 0

Updated standings out tomorrow. I don't think they will be favorable for me.

Funny Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 17:06:00 +0000

A letter from the worst rated player on Madden 2007 to John Madden.

No more John L. Smith and other tidbits from around the world

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 15:41:00 +0000

John L. Smith ("Jonelle" for purposes of this character assassination), was fired Wednesday from his position as head football coach at Michigan State. This development alternatively delights and saddens me. It delights me because Jonelle was, and is, not a particularly good human being. First, he broke his contract with the University of Louisville but was so bad at keeping the secret that his players found out via cell phone during the game. Second, he refused to discipline his players for the flag planting incident last year. I'm not saying the guy is a criminal; just that he is a used car salesman who finally got caught trying to sell another lemon. It saddens me because Jonelle, despite his record against ND, was not likely to beat Charlie again. Ever. This is one guaranteed win we lose each year. MSU might hire someone competent, and that means another difficult game each year.

Cal and Tennessee jumping ND in the polls in the last two weeks is the best evidence of pollsters' bias I can point to. Neither team played the week before. Cal's movement is particularly egregious, as ND blew out Navy (as expected). Unless ND goes undefeated in coming years, we have no shot at playing for a national title.

I went to the Navy game, and it lacked something. Don't misunderstand me - I had a terrific time and was glad to see ND look so good (especially on offense). The main thing missing was any animosity for the opponent (and rightly so). I have the ultimate respect for the service academies - they are populated by young men and women doing something I could not have done. It's difficult to be too happy about a win over them; the game feels more like a scrimmage.

Louisville beat West Virginia last night and should be #3 in the BCS standings on Sunday. They deserve it. I am tired of the SEC apologists who cry that the Big East is undeserving of a NC bid. My answer to them is the same answer I gave about ND - win all your games and it won't be a problem. Unless you're Auburn in '04. That one probably did kind of suck.

Want to see something from the legal world that is priceless. Harold Reynold's complaint.

My picks for this weekend's games: Cowboys, Packers, Bears, Falcons, Patriots (Seattle on MNF). Guaranteed to go 2-3 at best.

Prediction for the ND-UNC game: ND 35, UNC 14.

Performances are Improving..We're Second World Status Now, Baby!

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 17:38:00 +0000

Nice job by the pool participants this week in rebounding from the horror that was the Week 7 picks. We're still not performing "well," but we'll take it at this point. Listed below are the standings. Longer and more detailed post coming tomorrow about the week that was, including Jonelle's firing, Notre Dame's continued prison rape in the polls, why attending games against the service academies lacks something and other a la carte commentary.

Results for Week 8:

SpragueND: 41
CU Lions: 41
QC: 25
Geaux Irish: 25
Clown Hater: 21
Festering in Dallas: 16

With the first pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Steelers Select... (NFL Pool, Week 9)

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 16:26:00 +0000

So, I'd like to thank the Steelers for killing any hope of making the playoffs with last week's "game". I'm saying that sincerely, too. Usually sports teams will mess with their fans, flirting with rising above the mediocrity line, giving the regular fan hope that things might turn out okay in the end. See 1981-2006 Phillies. Not so with the Steelers.

How long until the Pirates report to training camp?

-----------------------------

NFL Week 9

Green Bay (+3.5) at Buffalo
Miami (+13.5) at Chicago
Atlanta (-6.0) at Detroit
Kansas City (+2.5) at St. Louis
Houston (+13.0) at NY Giants
New Orleans (-1.5) at Tampa Bay
Dallas (+3.0) at Washington
Tennessee (+9.0) at Jacksonville
Cincy (+3.0) at Baltimore
Minnesota (-5.0) at San Fran
Denver (-2.5) at Pittsburgh
Cleveland (+12.5) at San Diego
Indy (+3.0) at New England

MONDAY NIGHT BORING

Oakland (+7.5) at Seattle

Just Desserts

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 00:16:00 +0000

Yeah, that's right. With a cherry on top.

You know, in my experience, when people aren't going to return to their jobs, it's called a "firing."

It's funny, when you choke horribly in the fourth quarter against a team everyone who backed you wanted you to beat, people get upset.

I wonder if ESPN 8 (you know, the Ocho) would hire John to color commentate on D-III games... Oh wait, I'm lying. I don't wonder that. I just don't care.

Misadventures, Part V

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 16:00:00 +0000

So my buddy Ari enjoys flicking his friends off (One should note – this was the least dirty way I could open this story in talking about giving someone the finger. Seriously. Why does everything I write these days sound like a euphemism?). Anyway, it’s usually from a distance and often in public settings. Frequently, although by no means necessarily, Ari’s middle finger is provoked by a mild dig at him. For instance, telling Ari that a tv show he likes, in fact, is terrible, will draw a middle finger. Commenting on “his suck decision for a lunch order” will almost always result in the bird as well. Sometimes, however, spotting him from a distance on the sidewalk will result in the middle finger as well. This all got me into trouble yesterday at the gym.

So Ari, Mike, and I are in the weight room. Yes, I know where it is, thank you very much. Ari’s using some machine before me, and he decides to do another set although I am nearly ready to use the same machine. Since I know a comment about this will draw a middle finger, I decide to preempt Ari by looking down the row of machines at him and giving him the middle finger. Bam! I am clever. Or so I thought.

Directly next to Ari is a girl who has been minding her own business, using the next machine over. Turns out, when I am giving Ari the middle finger, which had to stay up for 5-7 seconds (basically about 4-6 seconds longer than one wants to leave the finger up in a public place) because Ari had looked away, the girl on the next machine had looked over to me. Yep. I flicked off some random girl in the weight room. I rule.

As a bit of a strange aside, she only furrowed her brow slightly when I flicked her off. The lack of outrage says to me she probably did something that deserved it. I’m just saying is all.

Predictions for the Week

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 14:30:00 +0000

Here are my picks for this week's chosen games:

25 points, Colts (+2.5) @ Broncos: Manning has owned Denver, and despite the Colts' seeming weakness this year (14-13 over Tennessee), I like Peyton to do enough to win this one.

15 points, Steelers (-9) @ Oakland: Even with Big Ben wondering where his motorcycle is, I like the Steelers in this one.

10 points, Eagles (-6) vs. Jaguars: Eagles seem to play well every other week, so we're going with them on this one.

5 points, Bengals (-4) vs. Falcons: I hate to pick the Bengals, but they should win this game by a bunch. The Steelers should have beaten Atlanta by two touchdowns last week but committed some stupid turnovers.

1 point, Jets (+2) @ Browns: Mangini has the Jets playing hard. The Browns cannot score very many points. I'll take a shot.

Links

noreply@blogger.com (CU Lions) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 18:37:00 +0000

So here's a random assortment of funny links and / or stories. Except for the one's that aren't funny.

As the caption says, sometimes it really isn't all that hard to ID the rapist. (courtesy of Erik)

I was doing a little search on the border fence news (because when the Act was first signed, CNN had a picture of a chain-linked fence up, which was hilarious) and I found this gem. So, um, if you're so slow that a photographer can take a picture of you futilely trying to climb the border fence, in broad daylight, how much of a chance do you actually have of making it into the country?

And finally there are the Not Safe For Work (NSFW) links and a story without a punchline to go with them: For those of you familiar with AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) or any other instant messenger for that matter, you'll know that you can send links to other people also using the instant messaging client. You may also know that you can link certain words as a substitute for the link, not unlike I have in this blog entry for "caption" and "gem". Well, what's technology without a diabolical use? A certain friend of mine and I have taken to im'ing other friends with disguised links. That is, not only do we substitute words for the actual links we're sending, but we substitute in fake links. Thus, a p-rn site looks like an espn link in the IM window. Certainly, this is nothing new. (Many have done this at work with a link that takes the victim to a site that, at the loudest possible volume shouts, "I'm looking at gay p-rn!!!!" and makes it impossible for the user to leave the site unless he turns off his computer. High comedy for cubicle users.)

What we've brought to the table is doing such things in class. With dreadful links. (e.g. google 'meatspin' or 'tubgirl' to get an idea) Let me reiterate... do NOT click on these at work... or ever... if you want to be able to eat again. Really, I mean that.

So anyway, the other day, after running out of people to 'meatspin', I sent the aforementioned friend a link to meatspin. Just straight up. Didn't try to hide it. In scrolling over it to try to discern what it was actually a link to, he clicked it. In class. To say my friend hid behind his laptop laughing at his error would be an understatement. Try... shook convulsively to the point of eliciting stares from classmates. As he later said, it's a good thing class was almost over.

Anyway, I promised that this story didn't have a punchline. And it doesn't. Go forth with your new knowledge and have fun tricking people. But don't say I didn't warn you about those sites.

Revisionist History, Indeed (plus the NFL spreads for this Week)

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 13:36:00 +0000

Apparently Jerry Springer was ousted last night on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars." I found this out via the MSNBC article titled "Jerry Springer: Gentleman Till the End." This is hilarious to me. Some of you may not be aware of this, but prior to breaking up fights between transvestite lovers who may or may not be siblings, Jerry was actually an elected official -- the mayor of Cincinnati. But it gets better than just the tale of following up a career of public service with referring cage matches between twelve year-old crack and sex addicts.

Do you know why Jerry Springer is no longer the mayor of Cincinnati? Because he was caught with a prostitute. Who he attempted to pay with a City of Cincinnati check. That bounced. I honestly cannot make this sh*t up. So, Jerry is quite clearly a gentleman till the end. Or at least until it's time to pay the hooker.

On to this week's NFL spreads. Remember, assign 25, 15, 10, 5 and 1 point to each game. Pick the MNF winner (we can dispense with the point total from now on) if you have not already done so. here goes:

Favorite Spread Underdog

TENNESSEE TITANS 3 Houston Texans

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES 6 Jacksonville Jaguars

CINCINNATI BENGALS 4 Atlanta Falcons

NEW YORK GIANTS 9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

CHICAGO BEARS 16.5 San Francisco 49ers

GREEN BAY PACKERS 3 Arizona Cardinals

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS 6 Seattle Seahawks

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS 2 Baltimore Ravens

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 8.5 St. Louis Rams

Pittsburgh Steelers 9 OAKLAND RAIDERS

CLEVELAND BROWNS 2 New York Jets

DENVER BRONCOS 2.5 Indianapolis Colts

CAROLINA PANTHERS 4.5 Dallas Cowboys

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

New England Patriots 2 MINNESOTA VIKINGS

I Rank Thee

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 15:13:00 +0000

Here are the rankings for the NFL pool as it currenty stands (dropping the worst three weeks for everyone). Very close race, actually.

Geaux Irish: 155 points
Clown hater: 144 points
SpragueND: 127 points
CU Lions: 122 points
QC: 112 points
Festering in Dallas: 105 points

We're Not Good At Gambling

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 14:06:00 +0000

Not that this needed independent confirmation for any of you who have had the opportunity to witness the awesome power of my suckitude whilst in a casino, but it should be noted that we, QC and its readers, are not good at picking winners in the NFL. The results of the pool are listed below. To be fair, this week in the NFL had its share of surprises, so the results are not that out of whack with what the "experts" picked as well.

Winner of the pool this week is CU Lions, with a whopping total of 25 points.
Three-way tie for second with SpragueND, Festering in Dallas and WC coming in at 15 points.
Geaux Irish rebounded from last week's zero points to post 5 this week.
And Clown Hater took over the zero spot.

Cheers!

Unparalleled idiocy, really

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 13:34:00 +0000

I normally avoid politics on this site, primarily because it's a sport commentary site, and because the discussion of politics (particularly in an electoral environment) really leaves me depressed.

HOWEVER, I do not avoid unarguably blatant stupidity, and that's what this is. Take some more Oxycontin, big fella. In fact, take the whole bottle and spare us your blathering.

In ND news, Charlie was apparently not happy that Tennessee and Florida jumped ND in the polls. I agree that Tennessee should be behind ND, but Florida's lower ranking seemed to me to be a product of losing in the middle of the season rather than at the beginning. I do not believe ND could beat Florida if they were to play tomorrow, so I have no real problem with that ranking.

Attending only my third away game ever this weekend (first: Michigan in 1997). The second one was Michigan State in 1998, so let's hope this is a more successful road trip for the Irish (and for me -- that was the day I screamed at EM, left Keenan and drove to East Lansing through a freaking blizzard. Then ND got hammered and we almost were assualted leaving that shithole that is East Lansing. Nice day, all in all). So Go Irish, Beat Navy.

NFL Week in Review

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 20:01:00 +0000

Monday Night Football is becoming a seriously painful viewing (and particularly listening) experience. That's right, I'm talking about you, Joe Theisman. Tirico does a serviceable job as the play-by-play announcer (despite the ridiculous guests welcomed to the booth -- Hank Williams, Jr.??) and Kornheiser is very, very good as the "everyman" color commentator. Theisman, however, seems to exist solely for the purpose of disagreeing with everything Kornheiser says. Last night, for example, Tony K. made a number of salient points regarding Drew Bledsoe's immobility and how it was hurting the Cowboys' chances. Joe, of course, disagreed, most likely because the hummer Drew gave him before the game was still in the back of his mind. Joe would make a perfect high school coach (belligerent, does not know how to actually coach, former athlete). Please ESPN, I am literally begging you.

On to the games:

Atlanta 41, Pittsburgh 38: Because God hates me (could it be the kitchen knife I held to my brother's stuffed animal's neck as a child??), the Falcons covered with the kick. I wish herpes were more disabling, Ron Mexico. Part of me thinks I should have decapitated that stuffed bear as well. At least I would have gotten my money's worth for that divine retribution.

New England 28, Buffalo 6: New England is starting to play better and now looks like the prime candidate to knock Indy from the realm of the unbeatens. Belicheck must be a great coach, because there are few players on that team I would want playing for ND in college right now. OK, maybe the offensive line guys. Buffalo? Not good. The world needs ditchdiggers, too, Bills.

Cincinnati 17, Carolina 14: The Bengals win a close one. Very impressive considering 1/2 the team is in jail.

Kansas City 30, San Diego 27: San Diego completely befuddles me. One week great, the next shitty. Schottenheimer is just waiting to screw the pooch on this one. I have Week 13 in the pool.

Green Bay 34, Miami 24: They played this game? All tapes were immediately burned, so I'll have to take your word for it. Brett Farve's farewell tour continues. Interesting question: who's had the worse last two years: Brett or President Bush? Tough call, I say.

New York Jets 31, Detroit 24: Eric Mangini continues making a difference with the Jets. The Lions continue to suck. At least they didn't cheat, as opposed to some other Detroit teams we know....

Tampa Bay 23, Philadelphia 21: 62 yard field goal???!!!!! Maddening inconsistency from the Eagles, but the Bucs are a decent team that really could not afford the exploding spleen of their starting quarterback.

Houston 27, Jacksonville 7: stinker game. Jacksonville is not this bad, nor is Houston this good. For one week, though, Texan fans can forget they passed on the single most exciting player of the last decade.

Denver 17, Cleveland 7: Denver may go 13-3 without ever having to score 30 points. Ridiculous. And when they need Jake the Snake in the playoffs, he will choke. Also, the sun will come up tomorrow. I'm just saying.

Indianapolis 36, Washington 22: I thought I was denigrating the Skins when I said they would go 8-8. Now they would be lucky to do so.

Oakland 22, Arizona 9: tick, tock, tick, tock...Denny Green's coaching life whittling away.

Minnesota 31, Seattle 19: Good for the Vikings. Hard to celebrate on a sex cruise after a loss.

Giants 36, Cowboys 22: Parcells is Hobbsian (except that "short" refers now to his tenure) at this point. I hate both this teams. A plague upon both their houses.

Scores from the pool to follow tomorrow.

Hilarious

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 16:16:00 +0000

If you're looking for a laugh today, check out the article titled "Rules for Fat People at Sporting Events" at MZone.

Well done.

So I'm Supposed to Go to This Wedding....

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 14:07:00 +0000

...on Saturday for two friends from D.C., and of course, the wedding begins at 3:30. I think to myself, no problem, the Irish are supposed to beat UCLA by two touchdowns. I brought my cell phone/PDA with me knowing that I could (1) log onto the internet and get delayed scores and (2) get text messages from my brother-in-law with the score. As an aside, who gets married on a Saturday in the fall? Especially people our age? Priorities, people.

So what happens? ND scores first (this is during the ceremony when I get the score), and all is well. Then UCLA scores - and then scores again. Now I am a little worried. We've moved into the reception portion of the wedding (pre-dinner). I am, at this point, nervously checking the scores every few minutes.

Long story short - we end up leaving the wedding because the little one is becoming uncontrollable, and get back in the car with UCLA punting. ND gets the ball back with 1:02. The rest is absolute beauty.

A couple of things about the game: from everything I've heard, the O-line played atrociously. That needs to change in a hurry. Also, ND had better beat USC. As they continue to slip in the polls and the BCS while winning, a loss to USC could knock us out of contention for a BCS bowl game. The Gator Bowl doesn't sound real enjoyable right now.

NFL Gambling Predictions, Week 7

noreply@blogger.com (MPS) — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 18:02:00 +0000

Crunched for time this week, so I've only listed my top 5 picks again and the reasons why. Here goes:

25: Steelers - because they are my team and are due for another win. Plus Atlanta cannot throw he ball.

15: Chargers - Chiefs suck.

10: Jets - they're at home against the Lions and only giving 3.5

5 - Carolina - I hate the Bengals

1 - Arizona - because the Raiders will not cover.

MNF: Cowboys, 47 total points