Between the Irish getting housed in South Bend and both my Eagles and Steelers finding ways to lose their games, this was not a good football weekend.
On to the oh-so-painful recap of the week that was and the scores from this week's pool. New entry from New Haven takes the pool this week, narrowly edging out Geaux Irish. Yours truly finishes dead last.
Week 2
New Haven: 51
Geaux Irish: 50
Clown Hater: 31
CU Lions: 16
MPS: 6
On to the recap of the actual games....
Atlanta 14, Tampa Bay 3: Tampa Bay's offense is eerily reminiscent of the Ravens' offense of the past few years -- good skill position players, good defense, atrocious quarterback play. And I have Simms on one of my fantasy teams. Nice call by me. Tampa is in serious trouble due to the division they play in and the quality of those teams. The score to this one would have been even more lopsided if the Falcons kicker didn't resemble the kicker from The Longest Yard (remake). I kicked better at the college football hall of fame in a suit, after drinking a fifth. Questionable Commentary picked Tampa Bay, perhaps for the final time this season.
Chicago 34, Detroit 7: the only game our friend from New Haven chose incorrectly (homerism biting him in the ass). Chicago is not this good, I swear. I refuse to believe that a team with Rex Grossman at the helm is going to win 13 games, even in the dreadful NFC North. QC picked Detroit, which was obviously a mistake. I mean...Rex Grossman?!? Is this a cruel joke?
Cincinnati 34, Cleveland 17: QC actually picked this game correctly (gasps audible from the audience). The Bengals look good, and they certainly look like they are going to annihilate my Steelers come Sunday. Where is Kimo von Olhoffen when you really need him? Cleveland belongs in NFL Europe. I'm sure there is a battle there somewhere for Private Winslow.
New Orleans 34, Green Bay 27: Maybe it was the meth-induced haze, but QC managed to miss picking this game completely. Those fumes are killers, boys. I would probably have hurt myself if forced to watch this brand of football, so better for all that I missed it. Great game for fantasy football, but these two teams will struggle to score this many points again all year. Saints on MNF this week. Can't wait for that one. Oh, wait, yes I can. Maybe I'll catch Deal or No Deal.
Indianapolis 43, Houston 24: Another correct call by QC. Peyton throws for 400 even. I find it hard to believe the official scorer did not help Peyton out a little on this one. "Cause Peyton looks like a badass in those Gatorade commercials. I would be scared of him, too. Until I remembered that the "rebirth of cool" and "Peyton Manning" being mentioned in the same sentence is a grotesque a prostitution of the English language as "Michael Jackson" and "babysitter."
Buffalo 16, Miami 6: Another correct pick for QC. I said this last week: Daunte Culpepper sucks. He is not, nor will he ever be, a very good NFL quarterback. Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh. Perhaps if he decided to get down to QB-weight instead of starting guard weight, and perhaps if he decided that gangbanging a stripper on a "pleasure cruise" was not bringing the appropriate amount of "focus" to his job...well then maybe he could be very good. But probably not.
Minnesota 16, Carolina 13: Bad call by QC. Minnesota played reasonably well, but in my defense, Carolina wins this game if John Fox avoids imitating a retarded monkey on the backwards pass playcall in the fourth quarter. Big game for the Vikings this week against the Bears. We'll see who's a pretender and who is....generally less of a pretender.
Giants 30, Eagles 24: Picked this one correctly, although I should have lost it (and would have been happier had that been the case). There is no excuse -- none -- for blowing a 17-point lead in the fourth quarter. At home. The overtime play that won the game for the Giants was pathetic. Looked like ND's corners out there. The Eagles can win the NFC East, but not if they give away these kind of games.
Baltimore 28, Oakland 6: QC correct. Oakland is the worst team in football. Gambling against them, however, puts the lipstick on the pig for me. Suey, baby. Baltimore is 2-0, but the still the leader in crack use and prostitution. I wonder if those statistics go up or down depending on if the game is at home and whether the Ravens win??
SF 20, St. Louis 13: Very bad pick by QC on this one. I did not think there was any way SF was going to win this game. People who really like NFC West football are the same kind of people who really enjoy watching two random college teams on a Thursday night. It's football, yes, but even addicts should have a line. I'm just saying.
Seattle 21, Arizona 10: Seattle has scored 30 points the entire year and is 2-0. You figure it out. They'll probably go 12-4 or 13-3 (likely 6-0 or 5-1 in the division) and get a bye into the playoffs. I'm sure they'll get screwed by the officials, though. It couldn't be that there a soft-ass team with no ability to hit anyone in the mouth. Must be the officials. QC missed this one, dammit.
Denver 9, KC 6: I went blind halfway through watching this game. Anyone know what happened? I picked it correctly, but sweet Jeebus, what are they doing to football in Denver and KC? Did the NFL expand recently like baseball? Did all of the quality QBs have Total Recall-like lobotomies?
NE 24, NY Jets 17: QC missed this one by one point. And Tom Brady f'ed me on his fantasy stats (again). On the upside for him, his alma mater looked pretty good this week. Fascists.
San Diego 40, Tennessee 7: QC's worst pick of the week. Play Vince Young now, Tennessee. The stadium should have an inscription over the door reading "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate".
Dallas 27, Washington 10: No more picks by QC knowing I am going to have to watch the actual game. Knew Dallas was going to win this one. Stupid, stupid, stupid. The Redskins are baaaad. Jump from the ship now.
Jacksonville 9, Pittsburgh 0: %$#^&#^##!!!! Are you kidding me? With the Bengals coming this week, the Steelers really could have used this game.
This week: 6-9-0
Y-T-D Results: 10-10-0
If we were wagering $100 on each game (and we had to pay a $10 vig for each loss), current winnings/losings for the year: $100.
4 comments:
There was always something bothering me about Peyton Manning and those Gatorade commercials. It's like a Gremlins movie where the water brings you something horrific...only to find it's Peyton Manning. Maybe if they had a rookie badass coming out of that football, they could have redeemed themselves. As for the linking of Peyton to Michael Jackson, that's just creepy.
After Week 4 are you planning on showing the running standings? Here's hoping you don't lay 3 single point weeks so that you can erase that 6 in your pocket from Week 2.
I think the Gatorade commercials with the "big head" athletes (Jeter, Manning, Garnett, etc.) are scarier.
Tough break on the Pittsburgh game. I guess that will teach me to put the big points on a game like that. Then again, the spreads were pretty scary across the board and -1 looked good in comparison.
Cumulative standings to be posted after Week 7 (when everyone has at least 4 scores).
And I always like the smaller spread games, if only because you are actually picking the winner of the game instead of who is going to cover some outrageous spread. I never know how to pick those ones.
I would have thought Pittsburgh would have been a safe bet too. Given the close spread that was posted, which was posted a few days before it was known that Big Ben would start, the 1 point was a pretty decent gamble for big points.
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