Well, that was pretty f'ed up (a/k/a Week 1 NFL Review)

Week 1 of the NFL season is always an interesting time for fans and gamblers alike (although, really, is there any difference??). Too much of last season carries over into predictions for this year (see my dismal results in this week's NFL pool below), plus too much weight is given to pundits' prognostications (i.e. Dallas as a good team). Week 1 is also dangerous in regards to Week 2 because some teams looked far different during Week 1 than they will midway through the season. Without further delay, here is the Week 1 roundup:

Pittsburgh 28, Miami 17: lost in the hype surrounding Miami trading for Daunte Culpepper during the offseason was the realization that he is actually not the good of a quarterback (at least without Randy Moss to throw to). Culpepper makes bad decisions at the biggest junctures of the game, and the Steelers exploited that. Additionally, has any defending champ been given less respect recently?

New Orleans 19, Cleveland 14: Both of these teams are going to be awful this year. They may, in fact, meet again in an imaginary battle for the first pick in the 2007 draft. Drew Brees is going to be hit so many times and from so many different angles that the cockroach attached to his face might be knocked off. Oh...was that out loud? Sorry. Cleveland is starting Charlie Frye. This ends badly for Browns fans.

Seattle 9, Detroit 6: Uggh. I went to the Redskins-Bears game last year where the score was also 9-6, and it was boooooring. Detroit is going to suck, we all know that. I expected more from Seattle. Maybe Holmgren is still pissed about the officiating in the Super Bowl. Keep crying, fatty.

New York Jets 23, Tennessee 16: Nice to see the Jets play well, if only because the possibility of seeing the drunk J-E-T-S guy on Sportscenter remains alive. Tennessee should just give the ball to Vince Young at this point and be done with it. I think he's going to be a huge bomb as a pro, but we'll see. At least they would know more quickly, though. Akili Smith, anyone?

Cincinnati 23, Kansas City 10: Odd game for the Bengals. They really did not play well, but they did go to Kansas City and get a win (which is unusual for anyone). Lots on consternation from fantasy owners about Larry Johnson. He will not be one of the leading rushers this year, folks. Offensive line is awful. Trent Green would like to know if he can have his brain back now. Brutal, brutal hit.

St. Louis 18, Denver 10: Denver could have used an Israeli mafia-backed, Grey Goose-drinking running back in this one. Or maybe just a quarterback who could complete a pass to his own team. St. Louis is an enigma due to the new offensive system and coach.

New England 19, Buffalo 17: New England's run is over. You heard it first here at QC. Done. They may -- may -- win their division, but only because the division sucks. Buffalo played an above-average game for them and looks like a 7 or 8-win team.

Baltimore 27, Tampa Bay 0: Other categories Baltimore currently leads in: per capita crack use and prostitution. It's true, look it up. As a Steelers fan, I find it hard to be objective about Crackville....I mean Baltimore. Chucky cannot be happy right now, but at least he's not in Oakland.

Atlanta 20, Carolina 6: Atlanta is the pick to win this division. Carolina has a good defense but is basically weaponless without a healthy Steve Smith. Watching the NFC South play football makes me want to hurt little furry things. So...much...pain.

Philadelphia 24, Houston 10: Another outlandish pick for you - Philly goes to the playoffs, either as a division winner or the first wildcard. Not so outlandish - Houston is terrible. The Texans season was over when they decided to pick Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. As ND fans, we have some experience with Reggie. Did the Texans not watch the film?

Chicago 26, Green Bay 0: watched the entirety of this one. The Bears offense is not going to be good enough to advance deep into the playoffs, but it is slightly above average for the league. Green Bay is atrocious in every respect. Enough about Brett Favre and his "love of the game." You now what I love? Getting paid an assload of money to hem and haw about whether I want to be paid an assload of money.

Brief diversion here with some rambling thoughts: is there another business in the world where there is more speculation about people being "burned out"? The controversy surrounding Cowher coming back springs to mind here. In the normal world, people go to work every day, year in and year out, regardless of how they feel. Nobody just takes a couple of years off because they feel downtrodden. But in football (and sports in general), there is always this talk of burnout, as if a coach's job is somehow that much harder than everyone else's. You know who is probably a little burned out right now? Marines. And they don't have an offseason.

Arizona 34, San Francisco 27: Nice defense in this one. Both shitty, 5-11 or worse teams. Kurt Warner is probably going throw for a gazillion yards and kill my fantasy teams but that should not erase the fact the he is just not that good anymore. System QB in a bad system. San Fran is run, according to his players, by Hitler. They better hope it's pre-1942 Hitler and not Luger in the mouth Hitler.

Jacksonville 24, Dallas 17: I foolishly bought into the whole "Cowboys are going to be great this year" sales pitch. Stupid me. Drew Bledsoe is still their quarterback, right? I deserve this one. No idea about Jacksonville. Literally. I have no confidence in Byron Leftwich, although I do admire his toughness.

Indianapolis 26, New York Giants 21: Good football game, although sloppily played on both sides. One favor: ENOUGH with the Mannings. Good players, both of them, but I do not need to see them every day on my television.

Minnesota 19, Washington 16: Redskins go 8-8 this year with a craptastic offense. Minnesota looked OK, and they play in a horrible division. Probably 8-8 or 9-7. Brad Johnson is always above average if he gets a little protection.

San Diego 27, Oakland 0: Hard to judge San Diego because Oakland is so freaking terrible. I detest the Raiders from the old Steel Curtain days, so I take some joy in seeing them approach this level of suckitude. Perhaps Jeff George would have been a good pickup, after all.

Complete picks tomorrow. I managed to go 4 out of 5 in the pool this week (of course missing my 25-pointer [FU, Dallas]), so hopefully we can continue the streak this coming week. Later.